How to Write Better Description

Photographs can help provide detail for descriptive writing

One of my lightbulb moments in writing came when it finally sank in that specific was better than general. For example, we could say:

The boy bounced the ball.

But we can all see that's pretty vague. It doesn't conjure any clear image in the reader's mind. Perhaps say:

Bobby Reynolds dribbled the basketball across the court.

Now we have a better idea of what's happening. And I'd have to admit, that last one is how I'd probably describe a boy playing basketball. Other than 'dribble', I have no knowledge of the game. Truth is, if I don't know what a basketball game really looks like, then I won't be painting the picture with my words. So how can we get better detail? By studying the specific. If you were to watch some YouTube clips of a game, read up on the rules and lingo or even better, turn up for a live game, you'd get a better feel for the actions, emotions and surroundings.

In our writing group last week, we looked at improving our descriptions by using more specific detail. This was a really fun exercise (adapted from one I found in Don't Forget to Write), it involved writing and drawing (but don't worry, because no amazing artistic skills are required). You could use just about any topic for this exercise, I chose to use animals. Here's the steps:

A 'before' sketch of a crocodile

1. Each participant is given the name of an animal (big red kangaroo, chimpanzee, octopus, draft horse, snow owl, sea turtle, rhinoceros, crocodile, etc).
2. Once you know which animal you are using, try to draw a picture of it. There should be no visual aids or prompts, just draw from memory.
3. Write a short descriptive passage about that creature.
4. Now I hand out to the participants a figurine and blown up photograph of the creature, to compare to their drawing.
5. You redraw the creature, this time taking particular notice of the small details you overlooked previously. For example, the way the fur/skin/feathers/scales sit, how the creature holds itself, the particular shape of the eyes, etc.
6. Once you're happy with your new sketch, write a new descriptive passage, this time including some of those smaller details.

I love the little ears on the seal, I would have forgotten those without a photo.

All the animal pics on today's blog are taken by Tim Clancy

I worked on an octopus and my memory conjures up the likeness of Henry from the Wiggles:

Picture from The Wiggles official site, click to visit www.wiggletime.com

But with the help of a photo and figurine, I was able to write about an octopus in a way I hadn't considered before:

Lilly spread her arm out in front. The water was thick and bubbles effervesced from her breathing apparatus, making patterns up towards the blue light above. The octopus swayed from side to side. It floated a little closer, curious about the girl in front of it. It’s long tentacles swished and curled about, each taking their own direction, moving to their own silent rhythm. On each tentacle little suction cups pulsated. It was the eyes that surprised Lilly the most. The way they’d look right into hers, taking her in. You’re a funny thing, they seemed to say. Now the tentacles encircles Lilly’s hand, caressing it gently. It was patting her like she was its new pet. 

My sketch of an octopus after seeing a photo.

So try to get the specific detail in your description writing. A few carefully placed key words or verbs will help the reader find the scene believable. Now you try - maybe watch a clip of someone playing basketball and write a short passage? Share it if you want to. I love to see what you're writing!

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Right and Left Sides of the Writer's Brain

I've been continuing through The New Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards and I've found the information on right side of brain vs left intriguing. I studied psychology for a while at Uni and have always found the brain fascinating, especially the placement of different functions.

In this book, Edwards examples special cases where the right side of the brain has been severed from the left (an operation performed to assist severe epilepsy). In such instances, there are exercises the test subject undertakes (naming objects in drawings, solving spacial problems, etc) where the left and right hand will push each other out of the way, so that the side of the brain that is best at that task can take over.

The exercise was interesting too. Perhaps you've seen this optical illusion before - is it a vase or two faces?

Edwards uses this picture in her exercise. You trace the side that suites which hand you draw with (if you are right-handed, you start with the face on the left, and vice-versa).

Here is an image you could start with, I found these at a great art site called Raisin Toast:

Right-hand drawers

Left-hand drawers

The rest is simple. You trace over the existing drawing, naming out loud the parts as you go (forehead, eyes, nose, top lip, bottom lip, chin, neck). Then draw over the straight line at the top and try to go down redrawing the mirror image on the other side, also naming the parts. You may find your brain gets confused with the names - this is your right side and left side arguing!

This exercise also works if you draw your own vase-face. Fiction writers are often creative people who tend to favour the right side of their brain, but the logical and organised left side is also essential to crafting a good story - so we need to exercise both sides! 

I'm up on my drawing, reading and notebook goals, but down on my typing up my manuscript goal - how are yours going?

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Writers Drawing

Drawing was one thing I resolved to do more of in 2011 to help my writing (you can see my list of 7 Tips for a Writer's Year here). I'm a mediocre artist. I'm not being modest, I only push myself up to 'mediocre' because I've taken many sketching, watercolour, charcoal and other art classes (in 'life drawing' they sit you in a room with a naked stranger - did you know that, or was I the only one trying to pretend that I was totally comfortable and often hang out with naked people?).

I've finally begun the course book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards. This book is aimed at beginner drawers, people who don't usually get artistic or writers trying to free up their imagination. 

So far, I've completed the first three pre-instruction drawing tasks, one of a self-potrait using a mirror, another of a person's face from memory and the last of my hand. All turned out a bit okay, but nothing to brag about or hang on the wall. There is a lot of information about how the brain works and how it relates to drawing, but if you'd prefer to just do the exercises, there is also the workbook:

I enjoyed the exercises and will continue some more drawing today. I may be able to use this in the classroom too (I'll be teaching Art and Spanish this year and have a LOT to learn). Of course, I had a little help with my sketching...

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