Choosing Your Detective

Romantic Friday Writers provide an interesting writing prompt every month. I try to join in when I can because it's fantastic practice and allows you to get feedback on your stories. This month I was extra-excited because the prompt is:

I love crime novels, especially mysteries. On the Romantic Friday Writers' site, I posted an article about the need for a strong motive in mystery stories. Another essential element is a great detective. Who will solve your crime? Will it be the:

• world-weary detective who's seen it all before;
• young enthusiastic copper, who makes too many mistakes;
• suspended police officer working outside the law;
• criminal only slightly more moral than the perpetrator;
• old lady playing amateur detective; or
• a child or other innocent, now exposed to the harsh truth of life and death?

I've been consuming a lot of kids' mysteries lately and here are some of my favourite child detectives:

Miranda from When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead. Beautiful story about friendship. Read a review from 11yr old Milly at Paper Dolls.

Phyllis from Phyllis Wong and the Forgotten Secrets of Mr Okyto. Reviewed at Paper Dolls.

The Masked Avenger in The Amber Amulet by Craig Silvey.

Here is my flash fiction for the prompt Driven to Murder (if you're motivated, feel free to critique for improvement):

Grisly Business

'Think it’s too late Sergeant?' Officer Sarah Camden hurried to catch up as Sergeant John Hart trudged across the gravel parking lot.

He looked up from his extended sigh. 'Too late for what?'

'For the woman sir. I mean, if someone grabbed her between here and the tavern then it was an opportunity attack—not likely they’re keeping her somewhere.'

'Yes, I’d say it’s too late for Donna Locke.'

'Think we’ll turn up something on the CTV cameras?'

'Nah.' John clicked the button on his keyring and the Commodore’s lights flashed once. With his hand on the door he added, 'What we’ll find Camden is that Donna Locke did indeed walk home alone at 2:15am this morning after her friend’s hen’s night and that her walk was relatively uneventful.' He got into the car and shut the door.

Sarah rushed around to her door and scrambled in.

'You don’t think she’s really missing?'

'Oh she’s missing to some, her friends, colleagues, and her children. She’s missing to them.'

'Think she’s pulling a Fairly Arrow Sir?' Referring to the hack pop singer who’d faked her own abduction in the nineties, hoping to gain celebrity status on her 'miraculous' return.

John grunted as he fastened his seatbelt and adjusted the rear-vision mirror. 'That’d be the best outcome. But no, she didn’t strike me as the type.'

Sarah pondered this for a few moments and slapped her knee. 'A lover! Donna Locke met up with a lover and chances are she doesn’t know there’s a search on for her.'

'Hmm, maybe.' John checked over his shoulder and the car rolled out of the lot.

'What? That’s logical.'

'Yeah, except she made no calls. How would this fellow know where to meet her?'

'She jumped in a cab?'

'I’ve got Johnson on that now, don’t reckon it’ll turn anything up. Hope I’m wrong.'

'So if she didn’t get grabbed or take off, why didn’t she make it home?'

John indicated and merged into the traffic. 'That’s just it Camden, experience has developed my gut feeling, and my highly-trained intestines are telling me she did make it home.'

'Then why… the husband?'

'Usually is.'

'You think he killed his wife, dumped the body, then reported her missing?'

John sighed again. Thirty years with Robyn, they’d had a lot of rough ones. Even now there was no knowing if things could be repaired. Still, the act of murdering your spouse? It was just so… final.

'But Sergeant, why’re we putting out a media release to find Donna Locke?'

'Two reasons, I’m hoping to pick up an eye-witness who places Donna entering her apartment around 2:30am, and, because I don’t want Damien Locke to suspect we’re onto him. There’s evidence in that apartment and as long as Locke thinks he’s in the clear, the better the chance he’ll slip up.'

A horn blasted, and a silver Audi zipped around them. Sarah glanced at the speedometer, as usual the Sergeant was driving ten kilometres under the speed limit.

'Sir?'

'Hmm?'

'You think he did it because of the affair?'

John raised an eyebrow at the girl.

'I mean… if there was an affair.'

He shrugged. 'Jealousy or money are the most common motives, although money usually wins out.'

Sarah opened her mouth to speak again a few times, but the deep furrows across his forehead and the weariness in his eyes stopped her. 

They pulled into the station car park.

'Grisly business Sir.'

'It always is.'

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Crime - Truth and Fiction Exercise

My favourite crime show!

My writing centre (QWC) and the talented Meg Vann hosted another amazing writer's workshop - Research for Crime Fiction. This one was made even more special by the setting - The Queensland Police Headquarters, which hosts the Qld Police Museum. What a perfect place to study crime research!

All writers went along with a brief outline of the crime novel they would like to work on. My crime fiction is Warracknabeal Kids: 

In the summer of 1939, a freak fire tore through the Warracknabeal Racetrack, destroying the decrepit clubhouse, but nothing else. This was suspicious enough, as the insurance payout would fund a much needed rebuild. When the town scallywag, 13yr old Harry Conner, finds a dead body in the burnt-out ruins, there's no doubt this is foul play. But the body disappears and no one believes him, not even his father, the local sergeant. Harry is on his own solving this case and he's wondering if it has anything to do with his own mother's disappearance two years ago. Perhaps his father knows more than he's saying. Meanwhile, across Victoria, the state is experiencing the worst bush fires it has ever seen.

My story was inspired by learning the clubhouse really did burn down in 1939 and the circumstances were suspicious (locals said the insurance payout was the most luck that track had ever seen). I decided to add a body and a town full of quirky characters. Real life provides plenty of prompts for murder mysteries, just watch the news or read the papers. But if a real crime inspires you, how can you go about using it for a novel without offending people involved?

One exercise we tried was to mix up events, characters and locations from different eras and crimes. We walked around the Police Museum taking note of the crimes and artifacts that interested us. This is something you could try using online resources for your news articles. Here's the steps we took and my responses:

1. Choose one person (victim, investigator, witness, etc) and record three details about that person: Eileen O'Donnell was one of the first women officers in Queensland, joining the force in 1931. She was good at catching bag snatchers. Women could not make arrests, but mostly did typing or chaperoning male officers when they arrested young women.
2. Choose one setting and record three details (from a different source): A vet surgery was the setting for Brisbane's notorious cat-lady murder. Found inside was the body and blood samples from two people, one belonging to the victim. Smell of ammonia and cat urine. Smooth linoleum floors. Very violent struggle.
3. Choose one incident/event: 1977 string of rapes and murders. Victim found in apartment by boyfriend. He had been at night classes at local TAFE before discovering the body.

The next step is to change any names (people and locations) and mix the elements together for a story idea. This is what I came up with:

   'Step back love, don't want to taint the crime scene.' Officer Robert Hacker put an arm out in front of officer Joyce Malloy, as if protecting her from stepping into traffic. 

   He'd already warned her several times on the way to this scene that it might be brutal and she could wait in the car if her stomach wasn't up to it.

   Joyce let out a 'humph' and stepped around Hacker's arm. She'd been on the force since 31. Her and Louise the first women officers in Queensland. Five years. Hacker had not yet served six months and he was giving her orders. 

   In her time on the force she'd seen robberies, assaults, wife-beatings, but, as she peered into the doorway of the veterinarian's office, she acknowledged she'd never seen anything this bad. Through the stench of feces and urine wafted ammonia, and in crates cats howled for release.

   Joyce stepped over the dead woman's extended arm, taking care not to tread in the glossy dark blood spread across the otherwise dull linoleum. 

   Another one dead. Women in men's professions. This one a vet, the last a lawyer. The knife used to rip the life from the deceased left by the body, just as the report had said about the previous victim.

   'Woah, you're a bit keen there Joyce.' Robert stomped in and for a moment almost lost his balance, slipping in the menacing fluid.

   He looked down, up at Joyce, back down, then threw up over the body.

Think you'll give this a try? It's a worthwhile exercise, you never know what you'll end up with!

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Science in Writing

As part of my endeavour to immerse myself in the culture of writing, I attended a FREE seminar held at CSIRO (initialism for some sciencey department) titled:

Get Your Facts Right: How science can help you write your book.

This was organised by my local writers centre: ACT Writers Centre

The speakers covered topics about weather predictions for 2050. It was great information if you intend to ever include a storm, flood, drought or fire in your story. For instance, did you know that if the Great Barrier Reef was to die off and no longer exist, that storm surges along the coast of Queensland would be much worse?

I also found it interesting to learn that if global warming keeps affecting Australian summers and heats reach low 50 degrees in summer, we could still survive but our lifestyle and culture would change. We'd have to do all outdoor activities at night when it's cooler and try stay still and indoors during the day - good weather for vampires? And that you might first notice the onset of a deadly heatwave by the unusually high death of parrots?

There were also experts in the field of forensic science. One interesting story was about a copper that killed his ex-wife and tried to make it look like suicide. The investigating policeman said he wouldn't have been suspicious at all, until he stepped into the bathroom. The toilet seat was up in a house where a woman lived alone. That little clue might not be evidence, but sparks suspicion and then the police can search for some evidence to convict.

I was surprised to learn that even if the police witness a crime taking place, they still need to gather forensic evidence to convince a jury. And that scientists are working on one day being able to produce a picture of how a suspect would look based on their DNA sample.

Have you joined your writer's centre? They can let you know whenever there are writers events you might find useful.

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Writing from Reading

Favourite genre - not me. I grew up addicted to Stephen King novels (before they got weird), fell in love with The Great Gatsby and raved to you about the YA novel Unwind (in Read to Write). I like to share all the non-fiction books on writing with you, but today I've another novel I must praise:

Peter Temple's Truth

This novel has won the prestigious Miles Franklin Literary Award and is well deserved. If you write crime fiction, mysteries or urban stories, you must read this novel. Not even optional, you must. It seems at first a grimey cop story, with our protagonist trying to solve a murder at all costs, despite a corrupt environment, but it becomes so much more. Truth shows human weakness. Especially in our protagonist. Modern urban life is contrasted with rural bush culture. Conflicts come in the threat of man and nature and at one stage we even have to question our protagonist - could he really be capable of what is suggested? Even the title is so cleverly woven from threads of the protagonist's life.

I try to learn from good literature, and this writer has given me two gems of wisdom - flaw your characters and flaw them some more (Lousy Characters Rule) and don't let the written language stand in the way of the story. Temple plays with grammar, many sentences are structured so short they remove definite/indefinite articles and qualifiers. In a previous post, I spoke about power positions in sentence structure (First Impression and Lasting Impact). Just looking through this post, I can see my powerful first place of the sentence is taken up with: I, this, if, not, it, the and so on. Poor use of a power position. "Truth reveals human weakness" carries more impact than if I'd said, "This novel reveals human weakness".

I'll read more from Temple, but tonight? I'm settling into bed with my Kindle edition of:

Cinders by the talented Michelle Davidson Argyle

Check out her author site:

http://michelledavidsonargyle.blogspot.com/

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Using Settings Effectively for Fiction

Where in the World is your Story?

This week in my editing course, I have been going over the settings used in my novel, Dog Show Detective. The basic idea is to go through the index cards that identify each scene and make a note of the setting, background items or gimmicks used that relate to the world the novel takes place in. 

What does this tell us? 

The purpose of our setting and how it shapes the characters and story. And it should shape them. In psychology we are taught the importance of nurture vs nature in forming the human psyche (and all living animals). Anything that happens in your novel is bound to be from the seeds of the environment, if a bird flies south for the winter, then it's probably getting pretty darn cold in the north.

I saw a tele-movie recently about a mystery that took place at a dog show. Needless to say I was pretty excited to watch it as my mystery also takes place in a dog show. My mystery took place in the show because that's what the mystery is about. Clues involve breeding of dogs, microchipping, breed related illnesses and more. The movie I watched only barely related to the dog show, it was a murder that could have happened anywhere, but the writers said 'hey, let's stick it in a dog show'. My point is, if your world is not part of your story, but just a background then you may as well have your story play out on a stage with no sets, because it will look fake.

Think about each scene and where it takes place. WHY does it take place there? What would happen if it was somewhere more public or more private. How might that change what happens, or what is said. What obstacles could appear from your location? And how many setting do you have - does your manuscript read like a play on a single stage or is it overflowing with location changes that could confuse the reader?

Another thing to consider with your world is how you portray it to the reader. Don't just describe the room, have a character make an action that interacts with the setting, like picking up an outdated magazine from the side table and glancing at the other patient pretending to be interested in Woman's Day's news that Nicole Kidman was splitting with Tom Cruise. 

Dialogue is an effective tool for describing the location or setting. Having your character order a coffee and cake would pretty much let the reader know where they are.

I've been a little addicted to the podcast Writing Excuses lately, they're informative and funny. There is one on 'roleplaying'. This is a new concept to me (although it's been lurking behind my back for some time). In relation to novel writing, it is when you have actors (or in my case - family) act out a scene you've written to see how well it works. The podcaster suggested a need for flexibility and improv (letting the actors come up with their own lines). This is a great way to find action lines and dialogue to show your setting. 

I'm going to give this a go as soon as my MC, uh, I mean daughter, gets back from her school camp. I should also get a few inspirational actions or lines from her sidekick Miniature Schnauzer (or maybe he'll just nap through it). If nothing else, it should be fun. 

My Muse(s)

I've made the commitment to Scrivener after using my free trial. The biggest selling point for me was that each document you create (which can represent a chapter or scene or just a section of your manuscript) comes with an index card for you to record a synopsis of that section. Then you can view all the index cards and swap them around during editing to get the layout you want for your novel. In both the writing course and the editing course I do, we use index cards for identifying elements like conflict and character. If you are a Mac user and you would like to check out this program go to Literature and Latte - Scrivener and watch the tutorials.

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Editing the Mystery Novel.

I'm editing Dog Show Detective, a novel aimed at kids between 8-10yrs about 11yr old Kitty who takes her Miniature Schnauzer to dog shows and solves mysteries. This week I started the editing process. Okay, I skimmed the manuscript and made a coupla' notes. It's the festive season, time has been short.

Last week I told you Kitty's dog would go from being called Shakespeare to Spade because it had more significance to the story. This week I've found a few more necessary changes.

Sometimes ideas come to us after we've already written a scene, so I make notes in my notepad. For each manuscript I dedicate a MS Word document for chapters, another for notes and ideas, a Plot Builder file to see how the manuscript is shaping together and a handy-dandy notepad (tip I learned from Steve in Blue's Clues), to jot down ideas when out and about. I find ideas and corrections come when I don't plan them, so the notepad gets filled and the doc file stays empty.

I was halfway through the Dog Show Detective mystery before I realised I only had one suspect. Not much of a mystery then. Instead of going back, I ploughed on and wrote in more characters as if they had been there from the start. Now in edit time I need to find ways to believably introduce them and start to drop hints about motives.

Motives act as clues, they tell us who we can suspect and who to dismiss. A character's motive must be realistically weighted for the crime, for example, most people won't commit murder these days just because they've fallen out of love with their spouse. Divorce seems a much easier solution. BUT, if the person stood to loose a lot financially, they were dedicated to a religion that forbids divorce, they are scared their spouse will beat or kill them if they try to leave, or if they're having an affair with their under-aged student and their wife has discovered it, then you have a strong enough motive.

Writing-World has a great post about dropping clues into your mystery narrative and explains the different types of clues you can use. Another great site is Perpetual Prose on Crafting Twists and Dropping Clues.

You will need to have several characters with strong motives for the crime, which is where I originally went wrong with my manuscript. Once I placed in a few more characters with various motives, I discovered two chapters from the end that my original suspect would not be the perpetrator at all! I love it when our narratives surprise us.  :-)

For newbies to mystery I strongly recommend reading and dissecting Agatha Christie novels, she had several formulas that worked well. The Christie Mystery is a site that has some very helpful tips for mystery writing, including a post on 'The Least Likely Suspect', one of my favourite Christie novels had ALL the suspects commit the crime.

Point of view is important for a crime novel, the most popular being limited third person (that's what I have chosen) or first person. The reason for this is because in most mysteries you don't want the reader to know the answers before the detective. You can experiment with different styles if you are little bit clever ;-). Check out Sylvia Dickey Smith Books if you need the different point of view possibilities explained.

This may sound repetitive, but reading mysteries is a great way to work out how to craft a mystery. I've been reading a couple of kids' mysteries such as Trixie Beldon, Nancy Drew and The 39 Clues (1st book by Rick Riordan). This has shown me another flaw in my narrative. I've focused on setting the story up to mislead and eventually lead to the solution, I've tried to have fun and exciting chapters, but I haven't had enough DANGER. 

Kids want action, they want their mystery fast paced and exciting, they want to worry about the characters. Don't underestimate your young reader, they learn quickly how to spot patterns. I'm often informed by kids that they know the main character will survive, so they don't worry so much about them, but when secondary characters are in danger, that can be scary because you just don't know how necessary they might be. I'm going to write in a few more near misses for Kitty's friends, family and even Kitty's dog.

Kids also love stereotype characters, Scooby-Doo almost always included a scary, old grounds-keeper that would seem really mean, but not end up being the villain.

Okay, so lots of work to do for me this week - I have to actually get onto making changes to my manuscript and I'll be reading How to Write Killer Fiction by Carolyn Wheat and Youdunit Whodunit by Nicola Furlong.

Time to edit - let's turn that good idea into a great narrative.

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